Mike's 15 Minutes

Anub Rekhan score card have to wait just a bit longer.

The looking for dungeon tool have given me another thought provoking subject to write about. This time we’re going to attempt on some number crunching.

The incident happened when a paladin in our heroic violet hold decided to do roughly about 800 dps on Lavanthor. He’s the enlarged version of your core hound pet.

The healer in our group noticed it and called him out on his sub-par DPS performance.

Turns out he’s leveling one of his weapon skills.

Argument ensues and everybody decide to kick the paladin out but can’t do so due to the 15 minutes debuff.

This really got me thinking, what is the minimum DPS to beat an encounter.

This is a bit hard to gage since we’re talking about heroics. In raid setting, you always have an enrage timer to set the DPS required. However, in heroics you have none. Some heroics have ‘soft’ enrage timer but there’s no hard enrage timer.

So for our purpose, we will impose an enrage timer of 3 minutes.

According to wowhead, Lavanthor have 431,392 hit points. With that in mind, your group need to have 2396.63 DPS in order to beat the encounter in 3 minutes. That’s for the group. 2396.63 is NOT the minimum individual damage per second.

Assuming that the tank miraculously held agro without doing any damage to Lavanthor himself, each damage dealers will be required to perform 798.87 damage per second. (assume 3 DPS-er)

That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. A 180 seconds epic battle with Lavanthor can be beat by doing less than 800 DPS.

The paladin did more than the minimum required to beat the encounter.

So what’s wrong with this picture?

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Mike was our star ball player. He’s 6’1” forward with a jump shot accurate as a scud missile. He’s one the best ball player in our school.

One day on a school yard pickup game we got him and felt confident we’re going decimate the other team. Mike decided to start practicing his left hand jump shoot. Not only he’s not very good at it, that’s all he does. Got the ball and did a left hand jump shoot. Over and over again. In other word, he fucked us all.

So we call him out on it. I said, “Mike, quit fucking around and fucking use the right hand!” He replied with, “It’s just a pickup game man.”

Mike’s fifteen minutes of fame is up.

With plenty of guys waiting on the sideline, we called for a sub.

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Comes in the mage in heroic blues. Did 6k on Cyga and wave good bye.